God Bless America

I ate Turducken today. I may die trying to digest but any country that can take a day that should remind people of genocide and turn it into a day about stuffing meat into meat with carbs in between is ok by me.

Not entirely dead inside?

Why do I cry like a gassy baby every time I watch Armageddon?

Don't forget the candles

You know what song they played in Becoming Part 2 after Buffy had to kill her recently not evil boyfriend? Sarah McLachlan's Full of Grace. Does everyone listen to her after a bad breakup? I preferred Ice Cream myself. Usually best enjoyed whilst consuming a tub of Mint Chocolate Chip or Vanilla Swiss Almond.

Sticky

Welcome to Hell. Also known as theatre 3 in the Scotiabank-formerly-known-as-Paramount Cinema. Yes Virginia there is a problem with the air conditioning. The problem is when you pack a bunch of sweaty film festival goers into a theatre without A/C things tend to smell, feel and taste a bit like ass.
On to the films. Both of which I watched in said ass-smelling theatre so I'm afraid my thoughts may be coloured with...well ass.
L'avocat de la terreur was just ok. The first 45 minutes or so were very interesting then the narrative sort of fell apart. Or I fell asleep. Did I mention the heat? But seriously the first bit about the Algerian independence was very well thought out and portrayed, but the end - they made Carlos the Jackal just seem like a jealous boyfriend. And the L'avocat de la terreur just seemed like a guy who likes chicks in peril - especially if said chicks have an affinity for incendiary devices and public spaces.
Joy Division was great. Sad and bittersweet with amazing music and great details like how Saville came up with the album cover for Unknown Pleasures without ever hearing the music. Fun for the whole family. If your family enjoys tales of suicidal punk singers.

And so it begins

I'm sore, my eyes hurt and I smell like sweaty fanboy. Yes, it is festival time again. Just saw my first film, Persepolis and it was great. A very sweet and at times dark story of what it is like to grow up during political upheaval. It was strange to see the similarities that they had in Iran with teenagers everywhere - sneaking out to party, getting in trouble for talking back in school. The difference was the consequences would be much more severe.
The voice actress for the young Marjane may possibly be the cutest sounding little moppet ever. I'm not usually a big fan of child actors (those Fanning girls give me the wiggins) but I love a cute sounding child. Like that little kid from Monster's Inc. So frakking cute.
I digress.
Liked the movie, I didn't cry but I did see some possibly Persian looking folk crying after the movie. I usually break down around the fifth movie, so looking forward to some waterworks later this week.

You're on notice!

Galactica better not suck this Sunday. I have concerns. They started out the season strong - maybe too strong. Starbuck was stabbing Leobens, Pegasus was blown to bits, Tigh killed his frakking wife and the guy who should be blamed for most of the carnage got to have a three-way with Tricia Helfer and Xena Warrior Princess. But lately I've had the strangest feeling after my weekly voyage with the rag tag fleet. I couldn't put my finger on it until recently, but the feeling was boredom. This show used to snap baby necks with a song in its heart. But now when I've got an angry Boomer threatening Athena over little Hera's crib, all I can do is shrug. The darkness doesn't surprise me anymore - not because I'm dead inside, but because it's just not as entertaining.

So this Sunday I pray to the gods that it doesn't suck.

Sashay Chante

I am seriously too old to be downloading 2U by Keshia Chante right now, but I blame the endless hours I have spent at the gym shedding bank fat. I got old and I got soft and I tried to reverse the process and that damn song plays almost every time I'm about to start pumping out cable crossovers. It's too frakking catchy. I give up. And while I'm at it, frak you too Ted Leo. Like I needed another reason to dance to Since You've Been Gone.

Wii-shing and hoping

I want a Wii, but I'm scared of it too. Too much fun can be a dangerous thing. People who have been gaming at home for years are reporting damaged furniture, personal injury and in most cases physical exertion and muscle soreness. I feel like it's high school all over again with everyone having sex while I'm waiting on the sidelines. I want it, but much like deciding to not to act like the other girls and be more normal and get my hair done more often I know I don't to get up at 4 in the morning to line up for my Wii.
So I wait, and like in high school the stories of disaster of those who go before me will help me take precautions when it is my turn at bat. We won't have our Wii in the room with the good tv unless we erect some sort of plexi-protective layer in front of it. We will use our Wii in a room with a high ceiling without any overhead lighting. We will wear our protective strap every time, not just in the beginning. We will keep all breakables out of swinging distance. We will be ready. We will be prepared. We will Wii-proof before we party.

Donkey punch of the day

Looking up at the skylight in my bathroom after a shower and seeing someone looking back. Jeepers creepers I've got a motherfrakking peeper.

Donkey punch of the day

iTunes 7 and my new iPod don't allow me to play the TV Guide podcast. I have to listen to it at home on the computer. That kind of makes me feel a little dumb for spending $toomany.frakkingdollars on something to listen to on the move. Perhaps I should invest in a walkman, burn the podcast to a CD and then I will have the TV Guide crew to entertain me on the elliptical as they have in the past. This is the second donkey punch I have had from the people at Apple. I'm trying real hard to be the shepherd, but the are starting to make me think my position on the PC + cheapass MP3 player world.

Of course I saw Snakes on a Mutha#$%@ing Plane

Packed theatre, late show on Friday night, a man-bag full of rubber snakes (courtesy an even more hardcore acquaintance) plus a group of socially lubricated buddies equals good times. Oh, yes you also need to add a plane and some snakes.
Best line uttered by a dying passenger - "Good luck"
Biggest Disappointment - [Spoiler Alert] the baby didn't get eaten by the giant snake.

How they Operate

Saw another marvelous fantastic amazing Gomez show this week. Brought a lady friend out for a girl date who had never seen them live and had only heard a few songs, and at about the 10 minute mark she notes "they never sounded this interesting before". After about half an hour she's liking them and by the time they are halfway through the set she loves them. Another convert. They really are one of those bands that you have to see live or at least sit down and really listen to the music. Of course when you tell people that you come off like a pretentious ass, so they ignore you.
On a slightly different topic I have discovered a new cure for fatigue and tummy upset. For the past week I've had a mystery bug that has kept my ass nailed to the shitter and my energy level at zero. I was almost ready to reintroduce solids to the diet, but I had concerns about agitating the burning ring o' fire. But I had to go to the Gomez show, and I couldn't stand around like the old lady I am rapidly becoming. So I gave in to a few cravings and by the end of the opening act [Slow Runner - quite good actually] I felt invincible. Or at least like I could jump up and down to the music without soiling myself.
I share my findings with you here now.
Burger King Whopper with Cheese (just the sandwich) + Red Bull and Vodka + Gomez = Magic.
Can't explain it, but Gomez my ass thanks you too. Great show.

Why do I care

I want Nelly Furtado to get a new font.

Where have all the ... people gone?

A long summer stretches ahead of us. Our stories are in reruns, resting and we must wait until fall to be entertained by many of our favourite shows - along with NBC's attempts to reclaim their Must See TV Glory Days.
I miss Must See TV. I have a theory, and it might be crazy, but I think I have figured out what NBC has been missing. Two words. Black people.
I love black people. Hell, I AM black people. And as much as NBC loves them some funny white people in unrealistically large New York apartments, they need to remember that it was a black dude in an ugly sweater that won them the night in the first place. The origins of Must See TV had black people peppered *giggle* throughout the evening. In 84 they had Cosby, Night Court and Hill Street Blues. Black people everywhere. They were funny in their sweaters and their Gordon Gar-Trail shirts. They were funny in court, and entertaining on the mean Hill streets. The Keatons and the gang at Cheers seemed perfectly comfortable surrounded by all those black people. We weren’t so scary after all. People liked us, they really liked us. The years rolled on and they kept adding other shows, but the night started and was built with the blood sweat and tears of a black man, like so many things in America.

But in the mid-nineties two things happened that changed the face of NBC forever. Cosby and all related spin-offs went off the air, and a couple of fledgling networks that loved them some black people were born. The coming of the networks that will soon be known as the CW created a new place for black people to go. And so they went off into the sunset never to return except in supporting roles. The nineties rolled on and yes, NBC held on to the night for a while (lotta black day players in the ER thank goodness) but I can’t really see those years being as cost effective. Between the Seinfeld cast and the Friends they were dropping a lot of clams to keep the old machine rolling. I don'’t remember Keisha Knight-Pulliam holding out for a million bucks an episode.

Time rolled on and the WB and UPN gathered all the black people to their welcoming bosom and slowly the idea of Must See TV became a thing of the past. Breeders can tell their spawn of magical time when they would sit down in front of the tv for an entire evening watching one channel that came with basic cable all night long. But times have changed and those days are gone.

And now, next year ABC will be moving their 20+ million viewer juggernaut, Grey's Anatomy to Thursday. Although the titular character is a teeny tiny blond who needs a sandwich more than Ally McBeal the rest of the cast is chock full of chocolate-y goodness with a Korean Canadian and a Latina lady doctor for additional spice. I'd like to take a moment to re-introduce a couple of old friends. Thursday night, meet black people. Black people, welcome to Thursday night.

like I needed another reason to love Gomez

They linked to this on their blog.

no really, what are the odds?

So I finally sold my old 1994 Ford Escort that I have driven exactly 6 times in the last 12 months. I sold it Friday. That would be three days before the super surprising Toronto Transit Commission wildcat rrowr strike gave the city a shot to the kidneys yesterday. I took it as a sign to work from home. The universe is not always subtle.

oh my gods

I have a picture of him.. Still trying to decide if I should put it up in my makeshift podstation at the new office. Perhaps not, as all that drooling and staring at the wall might be off-putting.

so sometimes I cry like a little girl

I downloaded the Grey's Anatomy two part finale so I could watch it again. There are two reasons for this.

During the crazy crazy scene where they are cutting into the totally hotandawesome dad from Supernatural at the same time they are cutting into Isaiah Washington they are playing the title track from the new Gomez album How we Operate. The song is fantastic as most Gomez songs are and even though I actually bought the CD (yes from a store, I know it would be cheaper from iTunes, and even cheaper if I were to steal it, but when I really like music I like to actually go to a store and buy the CD because sadly that is the only language the fools at the record labels understand. That explains why in the past two years I still buy CDs, although all those CDs are by acts that appeared in Dave Chappelle's Block Party and Gomez - btw Gomez is coming to T-dot this summer - get your tix early! And the Roots are coming too. My cup, she runneth over - speaking of I need a couple new bras) and I downloaded the song and put it on repeat on my mini and I have listened to it a million times this week (or 27, but whatever) at some point my mind decided that the song actually was magic, and if I were to just watch the show again they wouldn't kill Denny Duquette.

I can't remember the other reason I watched it again because I am too busy crying because they did kill Denny Duquette - and then to kick me while I was curled in a ball rocking back and forth spinning plates they fraked up Isaiah's hand. People do you NOT understand how the medical drama is supposed to work? You take with one hand and give with the other. You do not kill with one hand and then frak the other hand up for kicks. Seriously. Seriously.

Go buy Gomez. Any album will do. I'm busy weeping. Leave me.

Weevil - don't drop the soap

This was a big Tuesday for me. I haven't been this excited since Buffy and Angel were in first run. Today I wore pink and went to my ladies only gym after work then came home and drank a long island whilst watching the girliest night of television I have had the pleasure of enjoying in a long while. I feel adrift. Both of my Tuesday shows focus on girls - be they Gilmore or Mars, and they were fabulous. I have so many questions about what could happen next year, but both shows are not really on any network for another week. Sometime after the 18th I will find out the fate of my 2006 2007 television watching season. Will I get to hear Lorelai Gilmore say 'frakking Celine Dion' again? Will Veronica track down her fugitive ex-boyfriend and so he can get some azithromycin for the chlymidia she may have inadvertently transmitted to him? I have no assurance that these questions will ever be answered because I keep falling in love with shows on fringe networks like WB or UPN or Fox.

Maybe I should start reading again.

they don't call it gym-nice-tics

I like bad (insert rock and roll air quotes here) movies. I like movies that people are ashamed to admit they go and see. I will go see Antonio Banderas profit shamelessly off the magic that was Mad Hot Ballroom in Take the Lead. I will go see...a bunch of people I've never heard of in Stick It. I draw the line at The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift - not because I think I'm better than that, but because in some cases I have to be loyal to the original, and this movie is diverging from the original vision behind the Fast and Furious franchise - to be Point Break with cars. I don't see an upstart cop trying to prove himself anywhere in the IMDB plot summary for Tokyo Drift. I watched the original Fast and the Furious in the theatre. I watch Point Break every time I see it airing on Spike or TBS. And you, Tokyo Drift are neither Fast nor Furious.